20090902 | 8.28pm
Event: General Meeting
.: N.peeps that has been deploymed to SMART including BABA came for the assembly. I was surprised when he walked in and greeted us. I was happy. Baka nahalata ang aking pinkish na cheeks. Me'ganun! haha. Anyway, i was the only one left in our team kaya when he decided to stay since meron pa sya lakad for his simbling's birthday, di talaga ako mapakali. Well, you can ask my friends what I am when Im with my crush (lang naman..) nakakatuwa lang and nakakakaba kase my phone was very exposed on his side e yung wallpaper ko, pic nya! waaah. sobrang highschoolish talaga. It's better this than not like this I guess. Labo ko! hehe.
He played this songs:
"Nananana..nanana..nanana....Ill be there for you...when you call me Ill be there..."
"Patron tiquila..im drunk in margarita...nanananana..."
"when you jump Im ready to fall.. chuva..chuva..crash and burn your not alone.."
" SUPERHUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNHHHHHHHH...." favorite ko to e!
May eksena pang ginawa ang aming magaling na Technical Manager na hindi pa out. XD! Since sobrang obvious na type nya si Baba, when he saw that Baba stayed at our room he went in and ask Baba .. {pa-tweetums-na-boses-na-pa-lalaki-pa-din-ang-effect} "Bakit andito ka pa? May lakad?" of course Baba responded. Then when our TM went out and says his ba-byes na, Baba whispered! I Love You...haha! not to me though, nag-biro tawa kame ng tawa...HAHA. Although wala naman sa kanya yun, boss e! Alls well. Nakakakilig lang TALAGA NG SOBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...PWEDE BANG SUMIGAW...I was shocked when I heard it, nag-feeling ako syempre, kayo lang ng crush mo sa isang lugar then magsasabi sya nun, grabeh db?!disturbing* ganda ng boses...pakyu Baba!mahal na kita. LOLS!jologs ko na tuloy...haha..sorry, I am very kinikilig lang! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........oooooooooooolllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeee.........ikaw lang nakakaalam nito...XD! @ celine-secret lang ha?! hehe...XD!
Anyway.
Currently listening to: I think I love you - FullHouse OST
Currently reading: Wicked
Currently watching: ...
Currently feeling: amused
11:00PM 20090830
20090828 | CARAfe, Kamagong Makati | NOVARE Family
.: I met-up with Miqo for his cookie deliveries. Apparently, he was so busy with the orders and talaga namang sobrang dami. So proud of HIM! Keep it up man! Anyway, I was too sleepy that Manong even shouted at me, since naka-headphones pa akong natutulog sa taxi. Then went upstairs for the deliveries, maaga ako nakrating ng office before the lakad pero excited na ako. Net, dinner, net, osnai, osnai, net then Ms Shen came na. Went to Carafe with Ms Shen, Sir Riks, Tamera and Kennette and waited for others. Matt and Philip also came pero they stayed awhile lang since Philip needs to go to Montalban early morning and then Cara also came after her shift. Si BABA, wala pa din. Hay. I waited in vain and for sure obvious na obvious ako kala Bon and Net. Anyway, he came na, naglakad lang pala si Baba kase wala na syang masakyan after nyang mag-dinner with the Devs. Alls well. Alls smiles.
Baba [eyeing the balles on my wrist]:Parang kilala ko kung kanino galing yan ah?!
V [surprised!]: Edi ibabalik ko nalang ulit.
Baba [with his famous smiley smirk]: Ano ka ba, bakit mo ibabalik. Loko lang.
Syempre ako, super kilig. Hay! Kahit papaano, may crush na ako, to get away with things.
48 minutes to go Birthday na nya. Happy Birth Day My Love. I don't have to wish you well or pray for your happiness becuase I know your happy na! Wag kang mag-alala, magiging maayus din ako. Thank you.
For your birthday, you have all the right in the world to show them that it's your day and you should be happy.
For that, I give you a plain cake for you to decorate all the love you have on your heart.
Regards!
Currently listening to: Nobody - Slow Jam
Currently reading: Para kay B - Ricky Lee
Currently watching: -
Currently feeling: calm
UPDATE TO THE HIGHEST LEVEL
AUG 2009
20090802 – Movie Session with Miqo JD and BON. Astig ang The
Orphan,
20090803 - Dampa with Family for my Father’s BDay celebe[0808]. Medyo advance kase aalis na sya ulit.
20090804 – Thanks Niqa for the Gift. Love it!Went to
20090805 –
20090806 – JV’s dad died at 3am in the morning. Our new kitchen is being arranged. Napakdumi sa bahay amf!
200090807 – GI Joe movie session c/o Novare Family. Excited
to see Nats. Then he came, naki-inum pa sa ice tea ko na walang pasabi amf! Alls
well. Nakakakilig pa din. After the movie went to Cococabana kase manlilibre
daw ang mag bossing. [Singing] for the
first time… J Tumabi sya sa akin. We talked about anything, kasabawan things like always. He
told me that he keeps on texting me pero hindi daw ako sumasagot. I told him na
wala ako na-receive this pass few weeks, ayun dahil sabaw sya at namana ko yun
sa kanya,
20090808 - Father’s
going to leave na ulit and its his freaking BDay. Sad! Love u Pa!
20090810 – Chismis sa office. Meron daw isa sa amign
200908012 –
20090814 – Carafe with Ms SHen Sir Riks Bon Kennette Mike and Tam. Sayang wala si Sabaw! L
20090815 – SuE Meeting. Dinner at Dencios wwith NIKNIC JD and Miqo.
20090816 – Bought some books then went home na for Motehr’s pasalubong. Pagod na din ako at may lagnat.
20090817-18 – for the first time 2 days staright IRATE lahat ng BB users. Amf!
20090820 – Inuman session at Sir Riks condo with Ms shen, Jaime and pre, kennette and bon and syempre si Tam then Sir LAGS Laurence and laurence’s bro. Wala nanamna sya L Tae kaseng basketball yan e, inuuna pa! haha.
20090822 - Went to SM
North to watch HP6 in Imax fot he 3rd time. Went to CoffeeX para
magbas ahabang naiimagine na makikita si carlo with ‘that’ and dave na
maglalakad sa tinitingnan ko. After 2 and a half hours of reading aalis na ako
and there, naglakad sila. Although din nila ako nakita [
20090823 – morning shift! Fb mode, SIMS2 Mode and Youtube Mode.hay!
JULY 2009
20060701 - top Grill Jupiter with Donna Bon and Jody. Starbcuks Valero.
20090703 –JUNE Celebrant of Novare, PAKAIN! Went to trinoma with Miqo and JD first then wait for NIqa. Can’t fight this feeling. I need to see Jonatha. Waah! Is this Love? Hehe. Nalasing ng sobra. Absinth + WengWeng + 3 Botteles of Strong Ice + 2 Stallion + 6 more Bottles of Strong Ice then coffee at Starbucks Valer at..at…at…at,…nahulog pa ako sa hagdanan nila. AMF!
20090704 – Stayed at Miqos palce till morning with JD.
20090705 – Trinoma w/ JD Miqo and NIKA. Play at Timezone. Then opt to MCDO Mindanao > Starbucks West > Persian Kabab.
20090712 – meet-up with Jade & her Bumblebee. TOP grill inuman session with Jade Donna Jody and Bon.
20090716 – HARRY POTTER and the Half Blood Prince, movie session c/o Novare. Disappointed. At least, I get to see Jonathan.
20090717 -Pokermode with Donna and Jody.
20090718 -Pokermode with Donna and Jody.
20090719-20 - Land
Claster Suites,
20090721 – Morning at Starbucks Chinabank. Meron ako bagong crush! Naks nagkaka-crush na ako ulit, barista sa china bank. Napakabait. Hay!
20090725 – Suzuki Silver Celerio. Thanks Pa! Jade Miko Bon and JD went to the office after my shift for a surprise. Then went to Barbariba then late dinner at YellowCab Libis.Thanks guys!
20090726 -Happy BDay to me! Feels different. Sad. Gloomy. Had a simple get together with Family at Nanay’s place. Went to the office. SOBRAAAAAAAAAAANG LAKAS NG ULAN. Kinailangan pa ako ihatid ng parents ko sa office just to make sure. Hay!
20090728 – LTO Tayun for my license.
JUNE 2009
20090603 – Watched Drag Me To Hell with Miko and JD, DRAGGING NGA SHAKS! Starbucks West para maiba.
20090605 – Inuman ta Royal c/o Niqa. Inuman at Carafe with Ms Shen, Nats, Tam, Ms Marge, Sir Rico, pre Jaime, Third and Jorold.
20060611 –Carafe with Bon, Kenette, Tam, Sir Riks and Philip
20060612 –Mother admitted to the Hospital for her operation sa gadbladder.
20090613 – Mom’s operation.
20090614 – Father called and ask for updates. Alls well.
20090620 – Father’s coming home!
20090621 – Been moved!
20090623 – HALO Versions. Sobrang funny! Hanap kayo sa youtube.com!
20090624 – TRANSFOMERS 2 Movie Session c/o Novare kase di ako nakasmaa since mid shift ako. Tambay with Donna and Jody.
20090625 – Tito Eric’s Birthday.
20060626 – Jaron’s Birthday. 1 month to go before my BDay.
20060627 – Transformers2 w/ JD and friends. AGAVE with Bon while waiting for them to come. MIQ NIKNIQ.
20060628 – Happy Birthday Jonathan. Kilig* kilig* kilig*
20060629 – Starbucks West and dinner at
MAY 2009
20090501 – Work mode with Miqo (stayed at the office for my GY! Shift.)/Starbucks Pearl Bank / Kokology / Dinner at Cara’s.
20090503 – Went to Malate church with Mom for her Birthday Mass. After, went to Trinoma to watch ‘Wolverin’ then inuman session at Cara’s. Kennette’s prob with her brother and Cara’s regularization.
20090504 – Went to Starbucks West with Miqo. Dinner at Persian Kabab, TRIED THE ox brain thingy, eeewww! Ang secret? Sabayan nyo ng Beer. Wink*
20090505- - Happy Birthday Mother!
20090506 – Sleep all the way until 8.00pm in the evening.
20090507 – My cousins Jaron and Junjun went for a visit.
20090508 – Breakfast with Mother and my cousins.
20090510 – 7.45am Starbcusk Leviste. Talked to Bob and found out na malapit na Board ni Carlo. I texted him and told him Goodluck. It’s not the same. I still cry though but the feelings are not the same. I know he is happy now with someone else. I’m just bad at things. I blame myself, I blame him and I blame ‘tadhana.’ Anyway.
20090512 – Sleep all day. After my 11pm dinner I decided to have some GSM Blue. Yum!
20090514 – Powerbooks Trinoma – BRIDA! Finally! I saw the pictures L
20090515 – Went to SM North for Mother, Ara and JD’s birthday gifts.
20090516 – VIVIR INN, Tagaytay with Jade Codybear Miqo JD & and NIKNIC.
20090517 – Angels and Demon with Miqo and JD
20090527 - Went to Glorietta with Niqa to meet up with her brother MIqo for their event. Met Malaine, miqo’s officemate. Starbucks 6750.
20090529 – Inuman sessuions with NovareFam – Tam, Nats, Sir Riks, Bon & Net. Then starbucks6750 for coffee.
20090530 – Salubong for JD’s Birthday at
20090531 – Happy Birthday JD! I went to SM Annex para s alaptop
ko, shit! P1800, ang mahal. Pokermode with Miqo at
APRIL 2009
20090402 – Stayed at the office until 10pm for Craa’s BDay surprise!
20090403 – Location:
20090407 – Hawaiian Pizza nad MIX @ Cara’s with Joseph of course!
20090408 – Dinner at Cara’s place with Ms Shen, Joseph, Philip, Laurence and Kenntte. Talked about gelay and her ‘stuff’ mind you, evul stuff!
20090409 – Stayed at the office for 21+ hours with Cara Nika just talking about gelay. So SAD that know that she don’t have any true friends left. Well, it’s her own fault naman.
20090410 – Good Friday! DVD Marathon.
20090411 – Movie Session with Miqo and JD. Watched T2, yuck!
20090416-18 – ANAWANGIN 2009 with Jade Joseph Cara Kennette and Codybear.
20090425 – Inuman session @ Miqos
20090426 – Got my retainers na, so happy the braces are all gone na! Then dinner at Cara’s.
20090428 – Dinner at Cara’s ulit J
MARCH 2009
20090331 – Mirienda/Dinner at Teriyaki Boy @ Paseo Cneter,
Currently listening to: HALO fot NATS!
Currently reading: The Winner Stands Alone
Currently watching: DC @ Youtube.
Currently feeling: accomplished
You are most compatible with LEO! I'm sure most of your friends are Leos! Together you're going to rock! Proud, fiery and determined, the subjects of this cat sign are always a bit larger than life. They are ambitious, courageous, dominant, strong willed, positive, independent, self-confident! There is no such a word as doubt in their vocabularies, and they are self-controlled. Leos love to be noticed, admired, and adored. Extremely lazy and good-natured, it is often quite difficult for Leos to make an effort to assert themselves. Leos are loyal, likable, and often quite lovely people, but they can also be self-indulgent, stubborn, and prone to sulking if they don't get their own way.They are warm, demonstrative, and theatrical and love pageantry, blitz and glamour. They love adornment of their physical self. When Leos commit themselves to something they go with it for life.
Yesterday, after my shift, Paula went to the office then we went to Cara's place for dinner then inum. I texted my cousins: Borhan and Louselle since they are near my friend's place and spend the night with them laughing and drinking. After, I went home, yung taxi na nasakyan ko nahuli pa. Tama nga ang text na narecieved ko nung isang linggo- mga gawain ng nakainum (?!). I texted Carlo dahil gusto ko na ng closure: Here's our coversation.
Me:I mis u so much.alm ko masaya kna.magingatka lagi.
Him:Hi val. How are u. Mis dn kta. Hope we are stil frnds
Me:Hnd muna cguro ngaun.masakit pa dn.sobrang obvious na masaya kna.kase kng mahal m pako. ba2lik kna skn. One and a half month mko d kinausap at parang wla na tlga pagasa.gb2 umiiyak ako.hangang ngaun.peo ganun tlga e. wal e.cguro gagawn k muna lht pra magng ok ako. Bgo ako mgpakita ulit. Thank u. Gudlak sa review.ingat lg.
Him:Im sori val. Sori. Andto lng ako as a frnd. U take care aswel. Takecare of urself. Gudluck sa lhat pti work. Godbles u
Me:Mahal na mahal pa dn kta.un ang pinakamasakit ngayun.Wla na akong aasahan pero bkt and2 pa dn ako. Sna lng i let go muna ung past mo.lht lht ng hurt para d kna makasakit pa ng tao. i understand u.alm ko nvr m mamahalin ang isng k2lad ko.tama na carlo.i let go m na. and hope ul find sum2 na magpu2no ng mga puwang muna sa sakit sa puso mo.at alm ko na masaya kna w. that <person> .more love to u both.stay hapy. Bye.
Him:Dnt say gudbye val. We are frnds to start wid. I knw nsktan kta dhl sa issues ko. D ko cnasadya. U deserve someone better than me. Mabait kang partner val at ndi ko makakalimutan lahat lahat. Thanku sa lhat. Sobrang thank u. Minahal mko kht gnto ako pero nsktan k parin. Im sori sobrang thank. Ndi kta malilimutan
Me:Wag mo sbhn yan. Masasaktan m lng ako lalo. Mgusap nlng tayo pag ok na tyo pareho. Kse ikaw dn ang gus2 ko.kng wla ung <person> iiwan m b ko? hnd db?its ol about choice.at pinili mo yan.Hnd ako glt sau.sa tadhana ako glt.kse nvr k cguro mtatangap.dhl ikaw lng and minahal ko ng gn2.im ready to tel my parents bout us.ready to tel d world.but i guess its to damn l8.bsta stay hapy bout ur decsns.Gudbye carlo.ba2lik ako pag ok nko.
Him:Val. I left u not bcoz of anyone. Its about me. Mas masasaktan ka pag nagtagal pa tau. Bsta i dnt wnt to lose our frndshp. Balik ka pag ok kna. Sobrang sori
Me:Its not rue carlo.tama na ang kasinungalingan.Mas magaan sa lob pag totoo ka db.i txtd u kse nhhrapan nko. Tama na. Bsta stay hapy.
Him:Cge ok lng kung ayaw m maniwal. U always doubted me val. Anyway, stay safe val. Ingat lage. Ingat
Me:I nvr doubtd the love na mrn stn. Un ang gus2 ko ngayun. Peo wla na e. Wla ka na. Thank u din carlo sa lht2 ng naiparamdam m skn. Stay safe.iloveove.
Him:Thx val. Pag ok na tau lets be frnds. Il wait 4 dat day. Ingat lage
Me:Me too.take care. Goodbye. And thank u.
------
I know. Pathetic. Pero kailangan ko lang ilabas. Pasensya na sa mga makakabasa. Ang tabs na to 5 years na sa akin. Outlet ko. Gusto ko alng ilabas kase ngayun, seriously speaking, wala akong masabihan na friends and I choose to do that kase hindi ko naman makukuha yung suporta na gusto ko dahil yung gusto ko hindi pupwede. Lalo na yung mga friends nya na friends ko din. Para sa kanila yung relationship ni carlo ngayun ang tama dahil yun ang kinamulatan nila. And I will never be angry for that dahil hindi nila kasalanan kung anu sila ngayun. Like us, sila din victim ng pagkakataon at panahon. Environment and expirience sa buhay. Kailangan lang talaga siguro natin matuto at wag na ulitin ang mga maling desisyon na nagawa natin nuon. Salamat sa mga nagbasa at nakaunawa. Salamat sa mga comment sa matatanggap ko. Alm ko lahat ng mga yun makakatulong sa akin. at katulad ng lagi kong ipinagdarasal- Sana maging ok! na ang lahat.
03.09.09 | 1.23am
Currently listening to: -
Currently reading: For One More Day - Mitch Albom
Currently watching: The Burrowers - filmhill.com
Currently feeling: disappointed
ALL I WANT IS YOU
You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
You say you want
Your story to remain untold
But all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you
You say youll give me
A highway with no one on it
Treasure just to look upon it
All the riches in the night
You say youll give me
Eyes in a moon of blindness
A river in a time of dryness
A harbour in the tempest
But all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you
You say you want
Your love to work out right
To last with me through the night
You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
Your story to remain untold
Your love not to grow cold
All the promises we break
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you
You...all I want is...
You...all I want is...
You...all I want is...
You...
Currently feeling: bored
03.07.09
10.09am
LEO AND VIRGO
Leo is drawn to Virgo’s intellectualism, but Virgo doesn’t understand Leo’s dramatic nature. Leo can’t get from cool, reserved Virgo the sexual responsiveness it demands. Virgo is practical and prudent; Leo is extravagant and a spendthrift. Leo likes to live life in a really big way, but Virgo is conservative, frugal and a nit-picker--which puts a damper on Leo’s high spirits. Virgo won’t be dominated either. Leo would rather be doing something fun such as hosting a party or going out with friends. This attitude on both parts will go far in breaking up the relationship. The approach to the earning power of each could also be a source of irritation for Virgo. Virgo can work long hard hours and barely make a living while one of Leos wild schemes might pay off big. This is one of those relationships that depends on the type of relationship it is. In business Virgo and Leo will find it rough going should they decide on a partnership, since neither one will show the respect for the others actions and ideas they will not be ’in business’ very long. They are also not likely to become friends. The conservative Virgo would cramp Leos ’style’, while Leo would make Virgo have nightmares over the business.
Currently listening to: Thinking of U - Katy Perry
Currently reading: For One More Day - Mitch Albom
Currently watching: SUPERNATURAL Season 4
Currently feeling: bored
It's been a month and 22 days to be exact nung naghiwalay kame. Sa chat. Unacceptable. I begged. Pero pagod na daw sya. Then Last Feb17, 'our' friend told me that he is on a relationship na. Masakit. Napigil koang iyak ko sa starbucks pero naninikip ang dibdib ko. Althoug, na anticipate ko na yun since hindi na ako nagte-text sa kanya at sya rin sa akin. Well, reason? ayaw daw muna nya ng drama. And we will be okay when he is ready. Our friend told me that he will be talking to me about 'it' after his board. Ngayun, araw-araw, umiiyak ako. Literally praying my ass out, begging God to bring back my Carlo pero mukhang malabo na. And if hhe still loves me he will not do it and if he did really loved me he will tell me first before his friends but I guess his reasons are acceptable. It just hurt so much, unfair. But guess what, nothing's fair in this world, even in Love.
Niimagine ko if ever I won the LOTTO Mega Prize, I'll buy an island and will prison myself there for the longest time imagined. Hindi ko kayang wala sya sa buhay ko[period] I know if he'll come back, I will still accept him. Nasabi ko sa Diyos, kahit isang sakit nalang po ulit, ma-realise ko lang na hindi talaga kame para sa isa't-isa, OK! lang yun. Selfish ba? parang nga! Hirap na hriap na kase ako. Ayoko nang malungkot ako. Hindi ako sanay sa ganun. Gusto kong maibalik yung dating Val. Yung masayahing Val! Yung mapagmahal na Val! Not like this, gloomy, haggard, pumapayat daw! sabaw! lutang! aning! lahat na. Kanina, first monthsary nila. Naalala ko yung amin, dec 3 2007, halos isang dosena ng friends namin andun para ma-witness ang first month of togetherness. And the necklace. I feel incomplete specially now na hindi ko na sya sinusuot, lagi ko pa din namna syang dala. Minsan naiisip ko na he'll appear infront of me and take me back then I 'll wear the necklace again, right there. I can't sleep since umaga ang tulog ko from my gy shift, i cried myself for like 2 hours straight and Im praying, beggine please to make this loneliness stop and bring back Carlo. I need him and I still love him. Sya pa din ang pangarap kong makasama habang-buhay. Although, naiintindihan ko sya, lahat ng issues nya at kung bakit nya nagagawa nag mga bagay na ito. He's not a bad person. Only a victim. But I hope he'll realized thatmaking mistakes doesn't answer all the longing and the questions. The past. Leave it behind, kaya nga we look back at our past e, tapos na sya. End of story.
I have good friends and bette ones. Friends comfort you when your down and make you laugh on hard times. Thanks to my friends, they are always there if i need some tambay para maaliw naman ang araw ko. But I have to say, since we're on the same group I can't help but reject some of the attentions they are giving me. I know it's not there fault to be like that but I know and it hurts me so much- on the thought that they are well with Carlo's relationship now, why? because yun ang tamang relationship for them. Yun ang nakasanayan nila. Pag tinanong ba sila ni Carlo kung kamusta ako, sasabihin ba nilang I'm ok! or Im broken and in hurt? I dunno, I know I got there support but I don't get the help I need. Maybe because I'm being selfish. Maybe they understand well. Maybe since they are more expirienced that me, they are right in things I need to do. I don't know. Ang hirap na magtiwala kase kahit sa sarili ko wala na akong tiwala. I've lost. And I got no prize at'ol.
Ngayun. Sana manalo kame sa lotto. Sana meron na akong sariling island mamaya. Aalis ako. Gusto kong magpakalayo-layo dahil hindi ko talaga matanggap. Hindi ko kayang makita si Carlo. Closure. Siguro kailangan talaga nun. But after that, I'll be gone. Gusto ko munang mapag-isa. Ilayo ang sarili ko sa mga nakasanayan. Sa mga taong nasa paligid. Dahil sobrang [and I can't stress this enough] SOBRANG nasaktan ako. Sobra. Pero mahal na mahal ko pa din sya. Masyado lang siguro akong makulay mag-isip. Mangarap. Nakampante ako. Kaya ngayun, napagod na. I've lost. And I have to accept it. Kahit anung paraang basta matanggap ko lang. Maybe, we're still meant for each other. Time heals all wounds sabi nga nila- oras lang siguro ang kailangan naming dalawa. Ang kalaban naming dalawa. Katulad ng sabi nya, sana nga andito pa ako pag bumalik sya sa akin. Sana.
03.01.09 | 4.00am
Currently feeling: depressed
... but I can't seem to put them into words.. maybe next time...
im so tired..
im so sad... gloomy...
imiss him so much... but I know he is happy w/ someone else..
it just hurts so bad...i dunno what to feel anymore...
it changed me.. the whole me...
022809 | 5.04am
Currently feeling: crushed